Im at strip club and am horny
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
