he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
