I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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