Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
