so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
