I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
