Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
