Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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