I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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