i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
be right there i have to get my cape
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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