She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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