Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize