It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just sucked dick on a ferry
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize