his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
