yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
