i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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