You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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