Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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