By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I didn't notice because vodka
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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