found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
