Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
she pinky promised me she was 18
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
