I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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