Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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