Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
