my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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