so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Randomize
