My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
