You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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