I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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