Life is so much better after having sex.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
