I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
