is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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