Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
