If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
