She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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