hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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