hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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