Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
