You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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