omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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