Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
