i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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