herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
