It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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