Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
50% drunk capacity currently
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
