I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
