Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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