I have demons in me.
honey bunches of taint.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He passed out mid-signature
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
