I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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