Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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