I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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