he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
