o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
