As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize