The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
