There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
40s are totally the cure
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
