I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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